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Topics - FATSEXY

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Wrestling & MMA / I owe an apology to Jericoholics Anonymous
« on: January 16, 2018, 10:00:14 AM »
The apology that I owe is over that "sexiest women in wrestling" post from a few years ago. I'm 99% positive that he mentioned Kana and I roasted him pretty hard about it, called her a chubby chick that was kind of ugly.

JA. Dude. If you read this, I'm super sorry. She's so sexy that it hurts mah bawls.

Wrestling & MMA / Woken Matt Hardy vs. Bray Wyatt
« on: December 05, 2017, 02:18:49 PM »
Already legendary, after one promo. FINALLY, someone that can do a program with Wyatt, make it interesting, and put him over. I hope they bring the entire Broken Universe to WWE. CAN. NOT. WAIT.

Wrestling & MMA / Uproxx strikes again
« on: November 27, 2017, 05:53:24 PM »

Uproxx, the true bastion of social justice and liberal progressive worldview mixed with wrestling fandom, interviews Mick Foley post rape accusations and (this is after Uproxx posted an article about the accusations, mind you) they did nothing but soft ball after soft ball and ass kiss after ass kiss.

Kudos for exposing yourselves, Uproxx.

General Discussion / The Best Movies Since 2000
« on: September 28, 2017, 10:40:51 AM »
I was on some internet journey and I saw that Mulholland Drive was rated as the best movie since 2000. This article was from years ago, though.

I can't understand that pick at all. It does have Naomi Watts in one of the best big movie lesbian scenes I've ever seen. It may be the most A->B Repeated scene in the history of me owning a DVD player. I think the woman in the scene with her somehow defied reality and had nicer boobs than Prime Naomi Watts.

Anyway, outside of that, the movie has little redeeming quality.

NOTE: I'm a fan of noir movies and I still hated this movie.

I tried to watch this again on Netflix a few days ago, and I was taken out of the movie immediately by the 90sness of the opening dance scene. It was so, so corny.

Your thoughts? I will allow an exemption for The Fountain, since that's the greatest movie of all time.

General Discussion / The Blacklist is amazing
« on: April 29, 2017, 08:29:37 AM »
I don't really get into "Best TV show ever" discussions, because it's not an objective thing as a viewer. Maybe if you're in the industry, you can say that the editing and pacing of a show is well done and critique things on a technical level, but as a viewer, it's all objective. The X-Files is one of my favorite shows ever, but it hasn't aged well. Homicide: Life on the Street is possibly my favorite show ever, but it has aged horribly. Miami Vice?!?!!? Love it! Aged well in that it's a fun look back at the insanity of the 80s.

The modern era of contenders are usually The Wire, Breaking Bad, Mad Men has been thrown into the discussion here and there. I've never seen Mad Men. I've seen Breaking Bad and The Wire. They were both well done. The Wire isn't aging nearly as well as everyone wishes it would, and the further we get past its run the more we realize that the only season anyone remembers is the season where they mythologized a bunch of worthless street criminals. Breaking Bad was strong.

And now we have The Blacklist. The Blacklist started out strong, stayed outstanding for a few seasons, then had the Tom and Lizzie GARBAGE infect the show. It went from a show that goes places other shows wouldn't dare go -Lizzie actually shoots the guy instead of putting the gun down!- to going to that stupid, stupid, stupid dumb fake death GARBAGE. I swore the show off after that.

But... like my divorce from wrestling fandom years ago, I ended up coming back.

Somewhere earlier this year they did a mini-side series which removed Tom from the main show, and the sky parted, light shone down upon my face, trumpets blared. Tom is gone. Yay!

I caught back up to the series. Last night, I watched Requiem. It's one of the best episodes I've ever seen. It's amazing. It's one of the best episodes of any show I've ever seen.

You need to catch up to this show just to experience Requiem. Requiem turns a background character into a main character that is challenging the lead of the show, a super charasmatic lead of the show that strikes fear into powerful people... and Requiem not only makes you root for the background character (Mr. Kaplan), it makes you realize that Mr. Kaplan ain't scared of shit.

Wrestling & MMA / Brad Maddox has apparently lost his mind
« on: April 03, 2017, 06:59:38 PM »

Sorry for posting the mobile link. But.... fuckin a.

Wrestling & MMA / Who is the GOAT?
« on: April 03, 2017, 04:54:04 PM »
I want to repeat something I said a little while back.

I think AJ Styles is the best wrestler that ever lived in terms of in the ring from bell to bell.

Your thoughts? His promos are good but he's not all time level there. But when the match starts, he's THE best I've ever seen.

Wrestling & MMA / No Raw thread for 10/3/16???
« on: October 04, 2016, 08:56:40 AM »
Not the best show they ever put out, but I have a few thoughts about this episode:

-Jericho may be the greatest wrestler of all time when you are talking about the overall package. How does he keep getting better 25 years into his career?

-New Day is money.

-Seth as a face is going to be awesome.

-The women's title match sucked so much. Two takeaways, though: Charlotte is super sexy. She seems to be a level above everyone else in terms of athletic ability. The corkscrew flippy flop looked great but missed by a mile. The ending was actually really nice and I didn't mind it being from out of nowhere, because that makes submission moves an actual threat. Charlotte all stretched back looked... flexible. Like not in a pervy way of saying it... she's a gosh dang Yoga master or something. The match sucked, but it accomplished a lot of good things.

Wrestling & MMA / Big E should be WWE Champion
« on: September 22, 2016, 08:24:43 AM »
He can do anything. He is killing it in New Day as a funny character. He is a beast.

I think they should have him beat Triple H in a singles match, clean, and have the stipulation that New Day can pick a 4th member who has to stay in the team for a year. Big E wins and picks... Roman Reigns. That's how you get the crowd on RR's side. Have him be the silent badass who at first ain't having New Day's bullshit, and slowly have him start laughing at the guys and having fun with them (but not too much fun, keep him a killer).

Get Big E the belt a month in somehow. They are pretty much the modern Horsemen at this point. Have ND kind of start abusing Reigns. Then when Reigns starts to complain or starts resisting, he's actually at a disadvantage against three guys and he spends another year as an underdog chasing the belt. $$$$$$$$$ Triple H I know you still read A1 because we are still the best rasslin board in the world. Break me off a modest paycheck and give me a night with Alicia Fox and we can call it square business. Or Dana. Or, maybe a few of the Divas on separate nights let's work the details out later.

Wrestling & MMA / Sasha called Dana Miss Piggy... will Stroud shed tears?
« on: September 06, 2016, 08:41:10 AM »
I'm saying that he cried into his pillow a little.

General Discussion / Remember when all we had was message boards?
« on: November 16, 2015, 12:13:04 PM »
Fan sites like this one.

Man, I've made friends from this board that I like more than people I see every day (not that I don't like the every day people, I just really like you assholes).

But now we've got Reddit and YouTube blew up and Facebook is just a local message board.

But I like the days of being on fan sites. I used to hit up unexplained mysteries a lot, too. I'm going to see if they still have a site.

Wrestling & MMA / Did we get too old for wrestling, or does it just suck?
« on: November 02, 2015, 09:25:05 PM »
I saw the open to Raw tonight.

Reigns comes to talk. Rollins comes to talk. Rollins walks down to the ring. Triple H's music hits.

So no one can make a move without Triple H and Stephanie being involved. I just can't do it anymore. For the rest of of our lives, this is how wresting will be.

Someone posted the first episode (I say first episode because I think it's a series? It may have been a one off special) of the WWE Network's show about the Monday night wars.

I generally like the WWE video packages, and when they do the packages well they are among the best in the entire entertainment industry at making you feel something.

But when you watch a show about the Monday night wars and the victors are writing history, you learn two things:

1. It's maddening to hear them tell history as if it were as simple as "WWF was the most awesome thing and WCW only won because WWF stars came over." That's true enough if you boil it down to its essence, but maybe JUST MAYBE WWF was kind of corny bullshit when WCW was on? Ever consider that?

It's also weird to hear them say that WWF was where all the best athletes were when WCW (by the way, WCW never gets ANY credit for this, but they should) brought Luchadores to The United States. Shawn Michaels was good and all, but he didn't want to get into a comparison on athletic ability with the Reys and Juvies and all those little high flying sumbitches.

2. If you watch Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, and VKM speak for any amount of time, it's almost impossible not to hate all of them intensely.

McMahon has the same arrogance that has his company in the shitter right now during this show. "I thought Ted competing head to head was stupid." Ok. It only created the best era of wrestling in American history because there were two huge feds and competition made them each explore new ideas, but ok.

Shawn Michaels wants everyone to think he's a holy roller and a swell dude now, but he still showed up to bury the fuckin' active World Champ on Raw and if Rollins would have punched him in his dumb mouth, I would have loved Rollins into the next seven hundred lifetimes. He was Then. Now. Forever. a piece of garbage. Vacated a belt because he didn't want to put Bret over. Everyone kind of forgets that one.

Bret is a piece of crap too, because I really think that he believes that he was really winning matches. For him to be on his high horse while he was inhaling cocaine as much as the next scumbag wrestler is just insane. Hey. High horse.

Anyway so I looked at some related videos, and after a YT journey I have decided that Harley Race thinks he is the baddest man in human history, and most of the mid card guys in the 90s seem like pretty rad people.

Watch, motherfucks! Tonight I am redeemed.

Wrestling & MMA / Billy Corgan is the new head of creative at TNA
« on: April 28, 2015, 07:53:01 AM »
I think they are trolling us at this point. A guy who couldn't keep a band together is now supposed to run a wrestling promotion. Great. Maybe WWE can hire Danzig (or the fat guy who knocked Danzig out) as their new COO.

Wrestling & MMA / The Official Uproxx - Never Stop Thread
« on: April 23, 2015, 02:15:04 PM »
Never stop being SJWs, Uproxx

I was going to respond that the worst part about the article was seeing that Danielle spelled the word "color" as "colour", even though she's from MURKA!

But, of course... comments were closed. Someone must have disagreed with the ever tolerant overlords!

Wrestling & MMA / Some guys stormed the ring during Smackdown
« on: April 14, 2015, 06:08:57 PM »

That one guy putting his buddy in The Rock Bottom is hilarious, for some reason I can't explain.

I'll tell you this... they wouldn't have done this shit when the l.W.o was around. I watched those guys stomp a motherfucker out in Memphis.

I'm kind of disappointed that none of the wrestlers cleaned the guys' clocks.

General Discussion / Justified
« on: April 13, 2015, 07:39:17 AM »
Ends tomorrow night. I came in way late to the party on Justified, but loved it instantly. WILL be trying to track it down and watch from the start.

Ava Crowder needs to get it from me, and by "it", I mean "sexual disappointment". I want her to sweat on my face.

Same goes for Boyd Crowder, tbh.

I really like this show. Walton Goggins may be the best television actor alive.

Wrestling & MMA / Vince McMahon in Muscle & Fitness
« on: April 06, 2015, 06:46:52 PM »
I am trying to find the link online, kinda rushed, but his interview and pics are a fascinating glimpse into his mind.

They talk about how he is squatting 560, with his goal being "getting it back to 600".

Shut the fuck up, you carny motherfucker. With your 70 year old, 600 pound squatting horse shit.

Wrestling & MMA / Roman Reigns looks strong in UFC match
« on: February 23, 2015, 11:47:44 AM »

I could just link the video, but hell go give B Stroud a click and check out the video.

Note to stosh: fake leg kick occured. (or did it?)

General Discussion / Movies that were better than books
« on: February 02, 2015, 12:02:52 PM »
You know how people say that the movies are never as good as the books? Anyone have a reverse instance of that? I think we did this topic a while back.

I think Blade Runner is the best example. I like the book a lot, and Deckard is definitely a human in the book (fuck you Ridley Scott!), but the corny assed ending to the book was infinity times less good than Tears In *snkk* Rain.

I think another example is Watchmen. The movie is a good "for its era" type story, but if you strip away the leftist horse shit and tell it as a story about what makes heroes heroes and why superheroes wouldn't work in the real world, then you have the movie. The giant alien works if you know about it being a play on the Reagan quote, but for the now majority of the movie enthusiast crowd now that wasn't alive when Reagan was President, or was too young to remember anything about it the nukes make more sense. Hell, the nukes make more sense outright, IMO.

Wrestling & MMA / 2014 Wrestling Observer Awards
« on: January 23, 2015, 02:12:04 PM »

You couldn't come up with a more Internet award if you spent 60 hours a week for a year trying to. Japanese wrestler wins the wrestler of the year? Check. Raw named worst show of the year? Check. Kane, who we just had a talk about here at A1, The Only Wrestling Messageboard That Still Matters(tm), with the topic being whether they even need to have him on the roster at this point is named the most overrated wrestler of the year? CHECK!!!!

Amazing. Never stop being Internet, IWC.

Wrestling & MMA / I pwnt Uproxx today
« on: January 02, 2015, 05:51:07 PM »
There's a short video clip of a girl at the OSU game. The Internet is running with it and saying the girl got caught cheating. Uproxx ran with that story, posted to their Facebook "DID THIS GIRL GET CAUGHT CHEATING"??

I prawnt their shit by calling them out for slut shaming the girl, and explained that the girl was upset because OSU had just fired off a shitty 21 yard punt. So they basically took a video clip out of context and posted it as a clickbait story to humiliate a girl who didn't do anything other than get upset by her team having a tough moment.

They deleted the post, then later posted a link saying "mystery solved!". It turns out the girl was, surprise surprise!, trying to console her boyfriend after the shitty 21 yard point.

I blasted them again and said "Go blast WWE for sexism while doing it yourselves, Uproxx".


General Discussion / Started watching Game of Thrones
« on: December 30, 2014, 08:33:02 AM »
Got seasons 1 and 2 on DVD for Christmas.

Watched five episodes last night. I think. The last one I saw was when Stark finally fights the sister fucker. Lena Hedley is so so so so so mf'ing sexy.

I really like it so far. I'm coming in kind of cold to the story (you know nothing of cold). The only things I know are that Joffrey (is it Joffrey or Joffery?) is a monumental prick who ends up getting his, and that's about it. I know Ned Stark (Tony's g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-grandfather) dies because he's Sean Bean and that's just what he does.

I'm glad that I'm not lost in the story. I'm actually able to keep up (half assed) with what's going on with everyone.

Mark Addy doing a serious role is great. He's most known for Still Standing here in the US (right?), but he's a serious stage actor type guy. He was also in the Time Machine. All he really got to do in that was throw his hat, but that was awesome (I love that movie).

I know he dies since Joffro becomes king. Kinda sucks.

The only real negative I've got toward the show so far is that I know it has to be super expensive, so why does this show exist while Rome got shitcanned? I'm having a hard time letting go of Rome, people. Titus Pullo saying he wants to drink all their drink and fuck all their whores may have been my soul escaping and becoming a moment on television.

But so far, I'm digging the show. Carcetti (sp!!) is never to be trusted.

That fight with The Mountain and The Hound was badass. It was short, but badass. The way it ended, with The Hound kneeling and dodging that swing, that shit was amazing! I replayed the entire scene.

General Discussion / Lawless (2012)
« on: December 23, 2014, 08:39:05 AM »
This movie completely flew under the radar on me, saw it on Showtime and recorded it because it has Tom Hardy in it.

This movie is based on a book that was written by the grandson of Shia LeBouf's character. (I ALWAYS misspell his name, like I do Liam Neeson's Lliam?)

LeBeouf (I spell checked it) (also, Liam Neeson) is a polarizing guy online. I'm actually indifferent toward him. I'm not a fan of his work at all, but I don't expend energy actively hating him (which, trust me I'm aware that's out of character for me as I usually INTERNET the shit out of stuff I don't like *homeland*) .

Anyway, he was ok in this. Tom Hardy is really good. He was bulkier than he wanted to be, but he had to be Bale sized because this was shot right before Batman. Lots of good actors and actresses are in this movie. Jessica Chastain is in this, I know she is famous but I can't recall her big role... was she the woman in Zero Dark Thirty? I haven't seen that. Anyway she's good in this, although her role isn't that big. It's an important role, she's just not on screen a lot. She is extremely beautiful.

OH! The movie is about brothers who were bootleggers in North Carolina. Don't want to give away a lot of the plot. Let me say this, though. When people talk about the best actors of their generation, Guy Pearce doesn't come up in the discussion a lot, but he absolutely should. I've seen him in Memento, The Time Machine (which I love), Iron Man 3(!) and now this, and he's always amazing. He played his part in Iron Man well even though I think the character itself was kind of lame. He made the part a lot better than it was created to be, I will put it that way.

Anyway, if you have a way to check this out, I'd recommend it. It's a really solid period piece, I think you will enjoy it.

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