Author Topic: "Dad Joke" Thread  (Read 255 times)

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Zandrax

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"Dad Joke" Thread
« on: September 04, 2017, 01:45:31 PM »
Post your best (and worst) Dad Jokes.

Do you know what my grandfather said right before he kicked the bucket?

"Watch me kick this bucket."
      

dam skippy

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2017, 07:31:37 PM »
What color is a hiccup?


Burple.

Zandrax

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2017, 11:19:51 AM »
How do you catch a blue monster?

With a Blue Monster Net.
      

The_Spoiler

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2017, 12:32:11 PM »
When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.

dam skippy

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2017, 01:59:54 PM »
I was going to write a book about my recent experience with constipation but it's not coming out.

The_Spoiler

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2017, 06:55:42 PM »
This is my step ladder.  I never met my real ladder.

BobbyR

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2017, 09:52:49 PM »
That ladder one is actually funny

SupTool

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2017, 10:12:19 PM »
I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if itís the best ceiling in the world, but itís definitely up there

Zandrax

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2017, 11:13:21 PM »
Why do SCUBA Divers fall backwards out of the boat?

If they fell forwards, they'd fall into the boat.
      

The_Spoiler

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2017, 08:32:51 AM »
A man walks into a library and orders fish and chips.


The librarian looks up at him and says, "This is a library."


The man replies, "Oh, sorry". Then he says in a whisper, "I'd like some fish and chips."
« Last Edit: September 18, 2017, 12:42:40 PM by The_Spoiler »

Zandrax

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2017, 08:01:26 PM »
How do you catch a blue monster?

With a Blue Monster Net
      

BobbyR

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2017, 09:43:43 PM »
Dude you already posted that

BlackLight

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2017, 12:08:35 AM »
Dude you already posted that

And Dads NEVER tell the same joke twice!

The_Spoiler

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2017, 06:50:42 AM »
Dude you already posted that


To be fair, it was funnier the second time around.


BobbyR

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2017, 08:02:14 PM »
Not that's funny

Zandrax

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #15 on: September 11, 2017, 10:44:40 PM »
How do you catch a Red Monster?

Hold its nose until it turns blue, then catch it with a Blue Monster Net.
      

Zandrax

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #16 on: September 11, 2017, 11:24:41 PM »
And Dads NEVER tell the same joke twice!

Thanks for the save BlackLight
      

Zandrax

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #17 on: September 16, 2017, 07:39:22 AM »
What's the difference between an elephant and an egg?

If you don't know, I'm never sending you to get eggs.
      

The_Spoiler

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #18 on: September 18, 2017, 12:44:57 PM »
My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep.
[/size]I said "40"[/color]

Zandrax

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #19 on: September 19, 2017, 03:06:01 PM »
Since it's Talk Like A Pirate Day

How do pirates make calls?

With their AyePhones
      

BlackLight

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #20 on: September 19, 2017, 05:03:48 PM »
Why couldn't the pirate go see his favorite movie?

Because it was rated "ARRRRRRR."

The_Spoiler

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Re: "Dad Joke" Thread
« Reply #21 on: October 03, 2017, 07:26:13 AM »
Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?


So that when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.