Author Topic: should i be mad?  (Read 980 times)

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Beer_Baron

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should i be mad?
« on: November 21, 2010, 02:35:44 PM »
I went into the kitchen this morning to make breakfast for myself and the baroness, and saw something peculiar through the window.  In my backyard is parked a blue Pontiac Pursuit with Ontario license plates.  Chances are it's some seasonal jackoff here to work a shitty job and ride the slopes in Banff for the winter.  We get a lot of assholes like this in the area from all over the world.  Britain, Australia, Germany, Switzerland, America, and especially Ontario.  Hell, I'm from Ontario...but I've been living out west long enough that I consider myself a local.

Anyway, this fuckmouth's car is still parked on my back lawn, covered in snow which means it had to have been there overnight.  it's probably a friend of my neighbours, cuz there's a couple other cars with ontario plates that park on the street in front of my house all the time.  but nobody came over to ask us if it was ok to park on our lawn, so we really have no idea whose car it is.

I really hate inconsiderate people, and I try real hard in life to mind my own business and stay out of other people's way.  I thought up all sorts of nasty things to do to the car, none of which would have caused any actual damage...just inconvenience.  I settled on writing a note and placing it on the door's handle.  Here is the complete text of the note:

ATTENTION:  PONTIAC DRIVER,

THIS IS A PRIVATE RESIDENCE.  OUR LAWN IS NOT A PUBLIC PARKING SPOT. 

DESPITE YOUR RUDENESS AND LACK OF RESPECT, WE HAVE DECIDED NOT TO CALL BY-LAW AND HAVE YOUR CAR IMPOUNDED.  THIS TIME.

SINCERELY,

THE RESIDENTS OF *address removed*


did we over-react?  under-react?  i'm giving them until 5pm to move their piece of shit car and then i'm going to start shovelling snow on top and in front of the vehicle.  i am also considering throwing a bucket of hot water onto it first, so that it creates a nice layer of ice underneath the snow. 

i love this town, but it sure does attract some real fucking assholes.  has anybody here ever parked in a stranger's backyard?  i know that i never have, and never will, because that's a total dick move.

freud mayweather

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2010, 02:48:38 PM »
i would have just had it towed instead of leaving some passive aggressive not on the car. fuck that guy.
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Beer_Baron

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2010, 02:55:54 PM »
i would have just had it towed instead of leaving some passive aggressive not on the car. fuck that guy.

honestly, i wanted to.  but i don't think that there is enough room between the front of his car and the fence on the other side of the lane for a tow truck to fit in there.  i also wanted to be more aggressive in my passive-aggressiveness, but i thought that maybe this shit head is going to be in the neighbourhood a lot over the winter and i don't need some douche with a grudge fucking with me and my home.

freud mayweather

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2010, 03:01:35 PM »
maybe let the air out of a tire then, so he has to change it in the snow.
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BlackLight

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2010, 04:54:20 PM »
maybe let the air out of a tire then, so he has to change it in the snow.

Bad idea, for two reasons. First is, the tire would not automatically deflate when you unscrewed the valve. It would take awhile, and it's entirely possible the owner would notice and replace the valve before it became a true inconvenience.

Second reason is, if you went out to his car to unscrew the valve, you'd leave tracks in the snow leading to and from your house.

Anyway, myself, if towing the car was not possible or practical, I would just let it go. Not because it wasn't worth getting mad about, but the other alternatives - writing the note, inconvenience, whatever - are too passive-aggressive. Find a way to truly fuck the guy over in a legal way - that way you have your vengeance without ceding the moral high ground.

I agree with your general premise. These 'sense-of-entitlement' assholes need every reminder they can possibly be given that the world is not their oyster, and that other people aren't necessarily living and breathing to make their lives more convenient.

freud mayweather

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2010, 04:58:07 PM »
Bad idea, for two reasons. First is, the tire would not automatically deflate when you unscrewed the valve.

uh... you know if you unscrew the valve and then press on the little piece inside the air goes away right? weren't you an asshole when you were a teenager?
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Havok816

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2010, 05:29:08 PM »
uh... you know if you unscrew the valve and then press on the little piece inside the air goes away right? weren't you an asshole when you were a teenager?

Cut off the valve stems so the guy will have to replace the tires.

freud mayweather

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2010, 05:33:42 PM »
Cut off the valve stems so the guy will have to replace the tires.

i'm trying to inconvenience the dude, not make him set fire to beer baron's house
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Murphys Law

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2010, 06:43:40 PM »
i would have just had it towed instead of leaving some passive aggressive not on the car. fuck that guy.

I'm with Stan on this one.

Proud Virgin

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2010, 07:43:57 PM »
I would have raped him.


A Very Smug Bear

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2010, 12:59:50 PM »
He parked in your backyard? Holy shit, what a cocksucker. I like the hot water and ice idea. But you should use a hose and cover the entire car with water. If its there for more than a day spray it again every time it freezes.

bryce

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2010, 02:20:47 PM »
take a dump on the hood

issue settled.

TH

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2010, 04:45:05 PM »
Have it removed and impounded. It's your private property. Fuck him. Make the shithead pay for his laziness.

FATSEXY

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #13 on: November 23, 2010, 09:03:38 AM »
Rape his mom while he watches, then set him on fire.

Niall

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Re: should i be mad?
« Reply #14 on: November 23, 2010, 09:16:30 AM »
Deal with it the way my fat neighbour deals with things.  Get your mother to piss on his windows.